coming out with her fingers up.

That's it I'm convinced my baby Tallulah is going to come out of my womb waving her middle finger in air. Telling every one to fuck off. She's going to say screw you every one for making my 9 months so freak'n stressful and hectic. With everything that is going on right now, I can keep my raw emotions in from the outside. Usually they are kept in analyzed and rationalized. And after the crying has stopped internally I can talk about it with my loved ones. However, how am I suppose to hide my feelings from the baby growing inside me. Her main existence at this point is depended on me and how I take care of my self. Eating, sleeping, feeling, etc. I'm not a doctor but I do know that stress and depression is hormones that are in my body and wither I show them or not they effect me internally. And of course somehow affecting Tallulah. Goodness!
I stayed up last night on the computer and looking through calenders and legal paper work. Scanning and emailing documents and rebuttals to my attorney. Not the way I wanted to spend the night with my husband and son before I have to fly into battle. Instead of spending the night holding Enso watching reruns of Yo Gabba Gabba, he walked around the house in a diaper way past his bed time getting into every thing! And instead of laying in bed snuggling with my husband, I tossed and turned thinking to my self, "God did I leave anything out"? Oh and not to mention the massive heart burn and little feet kicking my ribs. I actually think Tallulah got her finger and poked the side of my stomach enough to make me gasp to tell me to go to bed. I don't know. That's what it felt like. Well here I am Saturday morning, emailing the last of it to my attorney. Tomorrow is the day. And I am prepared as I will ever be.

On a side note, it was pointed out to me yesterday by my best friend a few grammar error. Yes it's true. Pregnancy has gotten the best of me. And I promise you it will only get worst with lack of sleep. So my http will for ever be morethanpasingthetime.blog spot. When it should have been more then passing the time. Oh well.